Dinner Party

(and multiple choices)

Chapter One.

The dinner party to which Constance had been invited was a success and had started to wane as she settled uneasily into her chair, her a) heaving, b) panting, c) massive, d) corrugated bosom pressed awkwardly against her a) scanty, b) lacey, c) disheveled, d) 50% off chiffon dress.  A warm, late spring breeze held just a dash of chill, which was kept at bay by the warmth of a) the ocean, b) the protective cover of large magnolia trees, c) the three margaritas she’d downed less than an hour before, d) a Prime-Glo natural gas patio heater.

The night was alive with a) evening sounds, b) lightning flashes, c) lightning bugs, d) bed bugs as Braxton, his a) chiseled, b) defined, c) square, d) slack jaw placed against his a) massive, b) distinctive, c) swollen, d) effeminate hand, examined the scene before him.  He glanced up and met Constance’s gaze.  She impulsively returned his smile and then diffidently looked away, tugging at his heart.  She wasn’t beautiful, but she was very attractive.  The a) freckles, b) blushes, c) spots, d) dandruff sprinkled over that upturned nose gave her a youthful look, though he guessed her to be a) twenty, b) nearer his age, c) sixty, d) twelve.

Her a) innocent, b) blank, c) wide-eyed, d) cross-eyed look and those a) full, b) ruby-red, c) puckered, d) chapped lips reminded him of a a) fairytale princess, b) crown prince, c) lap dog, d) frog.  Even the way she wore her hair, with those a) braids, b) beads, c) corn rows, d) knit wool cap wrapped around the top of her head like a crown and the long shiny blond curls falling around her shoulders made him think of a) misty sunsets, b) falling water, c) azure seas, d) Cincinnati.

He poured a) champagne, b) wine, c) Gatorade, d) carbonated red grape juice into two long-stemmed glasses, setting the bottle back in the a) tray, b) bar, c) pedal-operated riding cooler, d) refrigerator  before walking over to the spot where Constance sat and offered her a glass.  His a) hand, b) arm, c) leg, d) cuff-links became entangled in her a) hair, b) dress, c) bra, d) belt buckle as he slowly pressed his a) muscular, b) rippled, c) double-jointed, d) obese body against her a) svelte, b) aristocratic, c) lean, d) cock-eyed frame.

Braxton became aroused as her a) wavy, b) auburn, c) sensuous, d) split hairs fell across his a) chest, b) abdomen, c) leg, d) peg-leg and he pulled her even closer to his a) rippling, d) rock-hard, c) arthritic, d) distended body and proclaimed in a low baritone that he must have her.

Slowly, she turned to him and said in a sultry alto voice: a) “Do I look fat in this dress?”, b) “Bite me.”, c ) “Bugger off or I’ll mace you!”,  d) “It’ll be $100 an hour.”

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9 responses to “Dinner Party

  1. Wow. If Harlequin sold books like this, with multiple choice options, they’d be way more interesting. I like this idea very much–it’s sort of like a modified Mad Libs for Romance Novels.

  2. I can hardly wait for Chapter Two. Or is this one of those ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ stories?

  3. Harper Faulkner

    Nearly a) laughed b) cried c) stabbed myself to death. Great post you old codger! I think you have a real career awaiting in the 1) field 2) garden 3) horse barn. HF

  4. CaL,
    I want to play. But first, I need a) another coffee b) more time c) my kids to shut up d) a ghost writer d) a fucking idea.
    Le Clown

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