What piece of conversation breaks the ice at a party for you? Are you, like me, always at a loss for words? Do the words that come to mind seem stale, bland, mediocre?
My latest set of pabulum is really poor:
- So what do you do for a living?
- Have you taken any interesting trips lately?
- That’s a very interesting ring, bracelet, token, marmoset that you have there; where did you get it?
- How about them Cowboys, Canucks, Manchester Uniteds?
Introverts, of whom I am one, don’t stand a chance at most parties. It helps if you are an introvert with a sunny disposition and a readily available laugh. I have neither. I am saved, if saved is the right word, by a self-deprecating black sense of humor. Even then, the effect lasts only so long and then back to the dark corner with all the other misfits.
I envy all those alarmingly loud extroverts who gather friends around them like bees to a beehive. They walk into a room and the lights go up like the curtain rising at a Broadway show. Groups of admirers cannot wait to gather around them and start saying whatever it is that groups who gather around extroverts say. I stand on the sidelines like those pimply faced shy teenagers at a high-school dance and drool admiringly at the beautiful young girls wrapped around the arms of the tanned, self-assured athletes.
So a horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gives him the drink and says “That’ll be fifteen dollars.” The horse pays the bartender and the two of them stand at the bar talking. The bartender says “You know, we don’t get many horses in this bar.” To which the horse replies “Not at those prices.”