I Am Not Committing an Unnatural Act

Got your attention, didn’t I?

Not only am I not now committing an unnatural act but, to disappoint all you voyeurs out there, I have no plans to commit one in the future.  Well, with one exception.  For me, writing in general and writing about myself or my experiences is, in many ways, an unnatural act.

When I started this blog, I did so for a number of personal reasons:

  • I wanted to keep up my written and communication skills;

[An aside:  Do you remember that throughout your life, whether in a school or job interview, you always had to have good oral and written skills?  Does anyone ever ask for bad oral and written skills?]

  • I wanted to see if I could be amusing and varied enough to draw a reasonable following and
  • I wanted to dazzle you with my earth-shattering dark humor and cynicism.

I was concerned that I could not keep up the pace of writing even an occasional post and that I would quickly run out of ideas.  I hoped for a weekly or twice a week run of ideas that would keep me going.  So far, so good.  Some even pop up without effort and I complete them on the spot.  Some are inspired by other bloggers.  Most take time.  I was always better at prepared speeches than extemporaneous ones and the same applies to writing.

I admire those of you who post daily, or almost daily, without becoming routine or boring.  You intersperse your posts with graphics and videos and, even when revealing intimate details about yourself, do so with humor and insight.  I try to follow a wide range of bloggers to expand my own view and, thankfully, none of you delves into the truly disgusting like “Boy, did I have a good bowel movement today.  Here’s a video clip.”  Thank you for not sharing and I apologize in advance to your eyeballs if I have given someone a really, really bad idea.

What I am seeking – and have not yet obtained – is a faster and easier flow of ideas and words.  Perfection is not my goal.  I just re-read Hemingway and Stephen King.  Neither is a perfect writer but both keep your attention.   That’s my goal – to keep your attention and make you smile (or groan) while bitching, complaining, bellyaching and grousing.  All of those, by the way, come easily to me.

Writing is hard.  Let me restate that.  Writing logical, interesting articles is hard; writing incoherent, nonsensical babble is easy.  I do it all the time.

I’ve worked myself up into such a frenzy that it’s now time to stop writing and go out and throw invectives and non-lethal objects at passersby.

What in blogging comes easily to you and what is uncommonly hard?

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32 responses to “I Am Not Committing an Unnatural Act

  1. It is nice to hear that you, and so many of your followers, put as much effort into their writing as I have to. Now, if my results were just as brilliant as yours…

  2. I’m thankful that I knew nothing about the blogging world when I started. I just did it as a way to pass the time at work.

    Had I known from the beginning that people actually read other people’s posts, I would have been much more self-conscious about things like grammar and meaningful content. Or, in my case, lack thereof.

    • If your content and grammar diminish enough, you can then become one of those e-mail scammers that you are always exposing.

      I can hardly wait to receive the e-mail in fractured English that tells me I have inherited $18.5 million USD and a busload of Estonian orphans.

  3. If there’s a story I’d like to tell the words come easily. If there’s nothing interesting it’s not possible to force them. I have adopted Dickens’ “Bah Humbug” lately; is that plagiarism?

  4. I try to keep my posts short and pithy; but fail enormously ever time.

  5. As a fellow curmudgeon, I understand your quandary. If it helps, you’ve always held my attention. I’m drawn to sardonic, snide, snarky, snippy, and snotty. Maybe it’s the S thing. So rant away, my Brother in Crank.

  6. Keeping up with all the blogs is the hardest part of blogging.
    As for my posts, I write nothing insightful, I like to think that my blog in conversational, meaning that the 300-400 words I write is what/how I would tell it to a friend, so posting daily becomes easy (specially when I write most of my post at work a few days in advance).

  7. CaL, the only tip I have is an editing one. After I have arrived at a conclusion, I go back and read each sentence and ask the question, how can I make this sentence better? Sometimes, a slight change in word order does the job. At other times, replacing a “tired” word with an “energetic” one is the key. Sometimes a sentence needs to be scrapped. The bottom line, good writing comes about by great editing. All joy today. HF

    • Good tip, HF. I fall into the all-too-common tired word (and tired phrasing) trap. Your comment reminds me that editors as a profession are going the way of the mastodon. What does that leave us with – a lot of writing but not much good writing?

      • That’s too true, CaL. I blame it on PC. People are so afraid to offend including editors. An editor should offend! Oh, well, my day has come and gone and I am perhaps a dinosaur. Discipline in all its various meanings is something we lack in this society. I shall crawl back in bed now with just one finger of whisky to sooth my throat and my soul. HF

  8. Funny you mention not delving into the truly disgusting, but Hank is planning on writing a bit about his tendency to “smell like bellybutton” and the fascinating research emanating from explorers at North Carolina State University and their Bellybutton Biodiversity Project (http://www.wildlifeofyourbody.org/). He hopes you won’t be too grossed out. And he agrees with you, of course.

  9. May I watch while you throw invective and non-lethal objects? Please? Pleeeeease? You have such magnificent invective!

    I stand in awe of anyone who can crank out a usable first draft. It takes me three days to complete a simple 500-600 word blog post. The first draft takes about half an hour to write. Then I edit it about ten times and put it away thinking, “This time I’ve nailed it.”

    Then I look at it the next day and think, “What was I thinking?!?“. Edit it another ten times. Until I’m certain I’ve nailed it. Put the draft up the following day… and edit it another ten times before I hit ‘Publish’.

    I don’t find writing or editing difficult. The hard part is getting to the point where I’m satisified with what I’ve written.

    P.S. I re-read and edited this comment eight times before posting it… oops, nine…

    • I, too, cannot write a useable first draft. There is a lot of re-writing and editing. My hope is to at least get the gist of the post down quickly and refine it rather than re-write it.

      For some reason, even when I only hurl invectives, my arms still get tired. ???

  10. I really only write when something strikes me to write about — something I want to remember for myself or something that I think might be amusing, at least to my mother. The rest of the time I just stay quiet.

    There sure are a lot of good bloggers out there. I really admire folks who, no matter what the topic, keep my eyes glued to the computer screen. It’s inspiring and I wish I could be more like you.

  11. “I’ve worked myself up into such a frenzy that it’s now time to stop writing and go out and throw invectives and non-lethal objects at passersby.”

    I just kick the cat … Here kitty-kitty.

    Another good one, thanks.

    DS

  12. I usually just wait to be annoyed by something, and then the diatribes just pour out of me. I think having a wise range of disgusts really helps.

  13. For me, creativity and humor is hard for me to write. I can incorporate wit, but asking me to write fiction … oh boy … out of my element … thus why I stick to nonfiction.

    Bottom line, although blogging is a place to challenge yourself, I stick with my comfort zone.

  14. I’ve never heard anyone ask for bad written and verbal skills. The ideas generally come easy for me, but organizing them into a coherent post that anyone wants to read is always the challenge. It takes me way longer than I care to admit to write two posts a week. Great post!

  15. I’m finding it hard to keep up with all the wonderful blogs I follow. I’ve had to accept that I can’t always read the posts by those who blog daily. If I did, I’d never get off the computer. But I stop by when I can, and I’m most often entertained by what I find. 🙂

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