I am often asked this question and clearly, I am not.
I can only think of the lyrics from The Statler Brothers’ song Flowers on the Wall: “Playin’ solitaire till dawn with a stack of fifty one…”
Suppose one of your friends has made a really bad choice – see Bad Decisions – or a series of unforced errors.
When your friend commits one of these questionable actions, whether from lack of intellectual prowess, a deficit of synaptic receptors, a shortage of morning caffeine or just general dumbness, what (politically incorrect) saying do you use when referring to said friend?
- Not playing with a full deck of cards.
- Not firing on all cylinders.
- Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
- Not the brightest bulb on the tree.
- Not the sharpest crayon in the box.
- No grain in the silo.
- The lights are on but nobody’s home.
- The wheel is spinning but the hamster’s dead.
- The train is running but the engineer is asleep at the wheel.
- The elevator works but not to the top floor.
- The engine is running but the gear is stuck in park.
- A few bricks shy of a load.
- One taco short of a combo platter.
- A few clowns short of a circus.
- A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
- A sandwich short of a picnic.
- A couple pennies short of a nickel.
- Got a screw loose.
- Doesn’t have both oars in the water.
- Has a leak in the ceiling.
- Missing a few buttons on the remote control.
- Gets mail at an unknown zip code.
- Gets orders from a different planet.
- Didn’t pay the brain bill.
- Has room temperature IQ.
- Their antenna does not pick up all the channels.
- Their receiver is off the hook.
- Their sewing machine’s out of thread.
- Their belt doesn’t go through all the loops.
- Their cord doesn’t quite reach the outlet.
- Their ladder is missing a few rungs.
…and my favorite:
- Their tray table and seat back are not in a fully upright and locked position immediately before landing and takeoff.
Any favorites of yours that I’ve missed?