Why?

Because I was away for a while and now I’m back.

Why?

Because sometimes you need to get away and ponder for a bit.

Why?

Because I couldn’t think of what to say or the right thing to say or how to say it.

Why?

Because I wear down and I’m old and cranky and grouchy.

Why?

Because I’m not young and strong and handsome and rich.

Why?

Because I didn’t work hard enough or know the right people or have the right set of pictures or inherit the right genes or score high enough on exams or run fast enough or jump high enough…

Why?

Oh, who knows?  God, Allah, Buddha, genetics, destiny, fate, nature, nurture, evolution, creationism, dystopia, the Kardashians, macro-economics, Brittany Spears, sub-prime mortgages, total eclipses of the sun, all of the above…

Why?

Because stuff happens and it happens to all of us and it happens at the worst possible time and it doesn’t always work out the way we want it to work out.

Why?

Hey, didn’t you read the part about God, Allah, Buddha, genetics, destiny, fate, nature, nurture, evolution, creationism, dystopia, the Kardashians, macro-economics, Brittany Spears, sub-prime mortgages, total eclipses of the sun, all of the above…

Why?

Because reading about all that stuff would have made you more aware of the world and what happens in the world and how life is unfair and affects each of us differently.

Why?

Because we respond and interpret actions uniquely so that the same event may have vastly different consequences, getting one person all hot and bothered while another person is totally unaffected.

Why?

Because if we were all the same we would all be average and all turn to the left at the same time and all want to eat tofu and all want to have our pictures taken with [insert favorite celebrity here] and all go on the same vacations and all hate [insert favorite hatred here] and so on and so forth.

Why?

Because ‘and so on and so forth’ is pretty much the end of any discussion.

Why?

Because the only things beyond ‘and so on and so forth’ are ‘because I said so’ and  ‘I don’t know.’

Why?

Because I said so.

Why?

I don’t know!

Why?

Your mother is calling you.  Go now.