Did I Read That Right?

This assembly of signs and article headlines comes from a friend of a friend.  They are not new but too good to pass up.

Proofreaders, editors (or former proofreaders and editors), English teachers and writers may want to cover their eyes.  I’m not sure how you then read this post but you may not want to.

Did I read that sign right?

On the door of a restroom:

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:

BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:

WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In another office:

AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a second hand shop:

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:

CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:

ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer’s field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:

IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door:

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD – THE BELL DOESN’T WORK)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn’t you say?

————————————————————

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter

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Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

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Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

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Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

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Miners Refuse to Work after Death

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Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

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War Dims Hope for Peace

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If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

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Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

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Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

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Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

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Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

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New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

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Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

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Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

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Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

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Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

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Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

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Did I read that right?

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9 responses to “Did I Read That Right?

  1. Excellent! Imagine how boring the news would be if there weren’t gems like these.

  2. Great collection as these never get old!

  3. You made my week with this. The LOLs have subsided to chuckles and smiles now, but I was in trouble for a while there.

  4. Hahaha!! These are priceless.

    And I’ve always known kids make nutritious snacks, but personally I prefer mine with a side of fries…

  5. These are great. I love “Kids Make Nutritious Snacks.” Definitely something missing in that one. But, for the record, doesn’t everyone stand upside down after drinking tea? I know I do.

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