Beware of Dog!


My wife and I decided to get a dog.  (Translation: my wife decided to get a dog.)

The dog is a female Yorkshire terrier.  Taking the description of one dog breed website, terriers are good for people who 1) don’t want a large bulky dog; 2) want a dog that’s playful and social with people; 3) likes their dog to be busy and active without demanding constant attention; and 4) want a companion that will always be alert and watchful if the local squirrels dare to come into the garden and steal your nuts.

(My day is ruined if I find that squirrels are trying to steal my nuts.)

According to the Wikipedia, the Yorkshire terrier is a small dog breed of terrier type, developed in the 19th century in the county of Yorkshire, England to catch rats in clothing mills, also used for rat-baiting.

(My week is ruined if I find that rats are trying to eat my nuts.)

In the short time that we have had this adorable creature, we have trained the puppy to pee and poo on its pee-pad.  In that same time, the puppy has trained two humans to wait on her hand and foot.  I had thought, up to now, that only cats had staff but I am learning from a three-pound puppy that dogs can have staff as well.

Our puppy has two modes – adorable, sleeping puppy mode and psycho puppy mode.  I prefer adorable, sleeping puppy mode but that mode does not last long.  During psycho puppy mode, the puppy attacks everything in sight, usually the hands and feet of the male human because male human hands and feet and rats have a lot in common, at least according to the puppy and female humans.  (No female human has ever attacked my hands or feet but they have called me a rat on more than one occasion.)

During college, my housemates and I ended up dog sitting a six month old St. Bernard puppy until he found a good home.  If a three-pound Yorkshire terrier does something bad, you hold it in one hand and say “bad dog!” even though it doesn’t listen to your scolding.  If a 150 pound St. Bernard puppy does something bad, you first have to decide how strong you are and how much pain you are willing to endure to tell it “bad dog!” even though it doesn’t listen to your scolding.  We all believe that St. Bernard’s are the well-behaved dogs that rescue people trapped in heavy snow drifts.  We forget that a dog that can travel through heavy snow drifts is very strong and quite independently minded.  The St. Bernard puppy story has a happy ending: the puppy ended up with a couple who owned a farm where the dog had plenty of room to roam.

So I am being slowly trained by this three-pound terror to obey her rules but at least I know that my nuts are safe.




Beware of the Yorkshire terrier!

26 thoughts on “Beware of Dog!

  1. My husband and I, I mean *I*, LOL also decided to get a puppy (or two, or three). It’s comforting to learn that even old curmudgeons are so accommodating to their wives’ desires. I’ve been worried since my husband is already starting to exhibit curmudgeon-like traits.

  2. Dogs rule with an iron will, a loving heart, and a velvet paw – so we won’t know that they’re really training us! Congratulations on the pup! Look forward to reading more about your adventures with her.

  3. Be careful. Little dogs like that have one powerful weapon that a big dog doesn’t. They have a bark that is so shrill, it feels like a nail piercing your skull.

  4. My congratulations, or condolences, on your Yorkie. Ours, Winston, age 6, is of neutral gender (though you’d never notice it) and is now 6 pounds of squirrel-hunter and street-guardian. It’s his street; he watches from the window and objects if anyone else uses it.

    His most potent talent is the long stare. If, as staff, you haven’t experienced it yet, you probably will soon. It is a predictable development. 🙂

  5. This post was really hard to read, as I was laughing too hard to see through my tears. Whether they were tears of laughter or pain am not quite sure.

    I forced my husband to get a puppy nearly a year ago. All of our previous dogs have been primarily my responsibility. Now, my husband works at home and I work in an office. It is good to leave my husband with our 65 lb psycho puppy!

  6. My brother has a Yorkshire terrier. He named him Bill. I met Bill for the first time last fall and fell in love. What a sweet dog! But you’re right–the feet are not safe. It wasn’t so much he went after my feet, but rather, he’d bring his bone over and chew it on my foot. Weird.

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