With apologies to Gilbert & Sullivan. To the tune of I’ve Got a Little List from The Mikado. Chorus is in Bold Italics.
Martyn Green as Ko-Ko, 1930s
As someday it may happen that a victim must be found, I’ve got a little list — I’ve got a little list.
Of society offenders who might well be underground, and who never would be missed — who never would be missed!
The lady whose email servers have problems of their own
Thirty-three thousand disappear like a stone.
There’s the party outsider who praises in raucous tones
Every party but his and every country but his own.
And the election outcome denialists,
They’d none of ’em be missed — they’d none of ’em be missed!
He’s got ’em on the list — he’s got ’em on the list;
And they’ll none of ’em be missed — they’ll none of ’em be missed.
Apologists, deniers, spin room activists,
Irrational supporters who get me really pissed.
All TV journalists who speaks as though listeners care
And the other ones who claim to be balanced and fair.
The dead who vote Democrat but that theory is not sound,
For you see, Mayor Giuliani, they are already underground.
WikiLeaks, tax returns, foundation donations and grants
And all those fanatics who substitute enthusiasm for facts.
And that singular anomaly, the lady plagiarist — I don’t think she’d be missed — I’m sure she’d not he missed!
He’s got her on the list — he’s got her on the list;
And I don’t think she’ll be missed — I’m sure she’ll not be missed!
There’s the pestilential congressmen who give democracy a pass.
The judicial obstructionists who are running out of gas.
And apologetic statesmen of a compromising kind,
Who defend outrageous statements by saying – “Oh, never mind.”
Third party candidates without a world view
The little, lyin’, disgusting, crooked, low-energy crew
Bad hombres, nasty women and also you-know-who
The task of filling up the blanks I’d rather leave to you.
But it really doesn’t matter whom you put upon the list,
For they’d none of ’em be missed — they’d none of ’em be missed!
You may put ’em on the list — you may put ’em on the list;
And they’ll none of ’em be missed — they’ll none of ’em be missed!
Why are you wasting your time blogging when you could give Steven Sondheim a little competition?
Because if I was as good as Steven Sondheim, I wouldn’t be blogging.
Excellent work. Send this to newspapers!
Newspapers? I’m thinking more of an updated musical.
Send this in to GIlbert & Sullivan. And don’t try telling me they’re dead because facts aren’t near as important as my level of enthusiasm.