Although I am not at death’s door, there are those moments when I can see the door from here. To prepare for the Day of Atonement, I have a few requests for my all my loved ones (family and friends).
First, don’t say “He passed.” I died. Saying “He passed” sounds like I had a bad urinary experience or an unhappy encounter with cannibals.
“Two cannibalistic ship captains passed each other in the night.”
Second, don’t say “He is in a better place.” Repeated requests to all Abrahamic religions – Judaism, Christianity, and Islam – have produced diddly squat so there is no corroboration for this assertion. You can say that I am in good company.
“You go to Heaven for the scenery and hell for the company.” –Mark Twain
I may have better luck with Buddhists because a Zen Buddhist pizza guy once said he would make me one with everything.
Third, please do not have responses say anything about resting in peace. I have no such intention. For eternity, I plan to pester, bother, aggravate and, in general, annoy anyone who ever incurred my wrath.
“Agitate, agitate, agitate.” –Frederick Douglass
If you wish to delay the inevitable arrival of death’s door at the end, you can listen to the interminable The End by The Doors:
Curmudgeon at Large 
“…pester, bother, aggravate and, in general, annoy…” – words to live by! (Or die by…?) 😉
With Halloween approaching, I may be coming to a graveyard near you.
But if you really go away I might never have to wipe my feet first again!
When you are gone I may never have to wipe my feet first again!
Excellent post, Curmy! Anytime I can read a new (to me) Mark Twain quote is a great day!
Twain has always been an excellent source of good quotes.
That a way … stay true to yourself! Major question – is this your last post or is it simply sharing your final instructions with us in your own style?
Just sharing instructions. If it was my final post, I would, of course, do it in true curmudgeonly fashion by saying something like “to be continued…”