A curmudgeon should always have something to read in the library.

1. The Portable Curmudgeon edited by Jon Winokur
2. When in Doubt, Mumble; A Bureaucrat’s Handbook by James H. Boren
3. How to Talk Dirty and Influence People by Lenny Bruce
4. Brain Droppings by George Carlin
5. Fart Proudly; Writings of Benjamin Franklin edited by Carl Japikse
6. The Book of Poisonous Quotes compiled by Colin M. Jarman  (courtesy of The Sandwich Lady)
7. Social Studies by Fran Liebowitz
8. Man Suffocated by Potatoes by William A. Marsano
9. Rumpole of the Bailey by John Mortimer
10. A Civil Tongue by Edwin Newman
11. Flushed with Pride; the Story of Thomas Crapper by Wallace Reyburn
12. A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney by Andrew M. Rooney
13. Wanda Hickey’s Night of Golden Memories and Other Disasters by Jean Shepherd
14. In God We Trust; All Others Pay Cash by Jean Shepherd
15. With All Disrespect by Calvin Trillin
16. The Official Rules: 5,427 Laws, Principles, and Axioms to Help You Cope with Crises, Deadlines, Bad Luck, Rude Behavior, Red Tape, and Attacks by Inanimate Objects by Paul Dickson