Tag Archives: annoying people

So Donald Trump Walks into a Bar…

 

(With a nod to idiotprufs and List of X).

so-donald

So Donald Trump walks into a bar…

  1. and denies he ever walked into a bar.
  2. orders a drink from the bartender and tells her she would not look like a pig if she lost 20 pounds.
  3. says he knows how to drink and drinks only the best drinks.
  4. doesn’t want to be braggadocious but he likes his drinks bigly.
  5. demands that everyone except the white guys be stopped and frisked.
  6. blames Hillary Clinton for the spilled liquor and the crushed peanut shells on the floor.
  7. says that his entrance into the bar was the best entrance ever. Ever, ever, ever.
  8. requests that all Mexicans leave the bar and then re-enter it legally.
  9. runs up a tab and says that he will pay it once the audit of the tab is complete.
  10. not sure that he will pay the tab anyway because he didn’t get the service he expected.

 

A Statue for The Donald

According to CNN, “Donald Trump may have just clinched the delegates necessary for the GOP nomination, but he already has his sights on a larger prize — immortality in the nation’s capital.  Trump — who made his wealth in part from the branding of his name — said he wouldn’t mind seeing his surname on a statue in Washington, D.C., one day.”

With this thought in mind, your obliging curmudgeon has prepared a statue befitting The Donald complete with a motto:

TS1

The Donald Trump: Yet Another Horse’s Ass in Washington.

If you can’t improve your health OR your writing, then…

 

..you end up at WalMart, of course.

Fred, an otherwise rational adult male, foolishly believes that he will find what he needs at his local WalMart.  He realizes his mistake when he gets trapped in Aisle 6 – Depends, Tampons, Bandaids, rubbing alcohol, printing ink…

Frantic calls from his cellphone brings, in succession, his family, friends, members of the constabulary, Food and Drug Enforcement officials, the World Wrestling Entertainment federation, a SWAT team and even nuclear disarmament forces. Every attempt to rescue him fails as each group, in turn, becomes a WalMartian!

There is little I can add to these disturbing pictures except to say that evidence of alien life is closer than you can imagine.

 

 

 

The Answer to Donald Trump

There is always an answer.

Dtrump2

…and they say romance is dead.

and they say

You may thank (or blame) Tom Merriman  for this episode of:

Fallen Arches title copy

He asked in his February Monthly Theme for a post on the topic “…and they say romance is dead.”

————–

A husband and his long suffering wife decided to take a romantic driving vacation through the scenic US West. The husband, who was hard of hearing, was speeding down a remote highway and was spotted by a state trooper who pulled behind them, siren blaring.

“Pull over” says the wife.

“What?” says the husband.

“PULL OVER! STATE TROOPER!” screams the wife.

The husband pulls to the side of the rode and is approached by the female state trooper.

“May I see your license, please?” says the trooper.

“What?” says the husband.

“LICENSE! SHE NEEDS YOUR LICENSE!” screams the wife.

The husband hands the trooper his license. Upon looking at the license, the state trooper says:

“I see you’re from Delaware. I used to date a man from Delaware but he was a real asshole.”

“What?” says the husband.

“SHE SAYS SHE KNOWS YOU!” screams the wife.

 

…and they say romance is dead.