Bad Decisions

We all have bad days and we all make bad decisions.  I, myself, have had bad decades.  I often feel that I walk around with a black cloud over my head like the L’il Abner character Joe Btfsplk, who brings bad luck wherever he goes.


I invest in stocks the day before the stock market crashes.  I buy land that turns out to have toxic waste under it.  I keep my money in a bank that is NOT too large to fail.  I buy high and sell low.

My friends (friends, HAH!) encourage me to create my own mutual fund – The Curmudgeon-at-Large Fund – so that they can do the opposite of whatever I’m doing.

Whatever line I choose to get in is always the longest and slowest.  The slot machine pays out immediately after I turn it over to someone else.  Like Barney Google, my horses come in three days late.

If I decide to have a benign wart treated, it grows back in the shape of Newt Gingrich’s butt and the dermatologist tells me that it can no longer be removed.

Nevertheless, when I am feeling down, which is most of the time, I remind myself that there are people in this world who have made really, really bad decisions, even worse than any I have made.

I ask you: “What were these people thinking?”







Now, I don’t feel so bad.  I think I’ll go to the casino and bet it all on 21 red.