We all have bad days and we all make bad decisions. I, myself, have had bad decades. I often feel that I walk around with a black cloud over my head like the L’il Abner character Joe Btfsplk, who brings bad luck wherever he goes.
I invest in stocks the day before the stock market crashes. I buy land that turns out to have toxic waste under it. I keep my money in a bank that is NOT too large to fail. I buy high and sell low.
My friends (friends, HAH!) encourage me to create my own mutual fund – The Curmudgeon-at-Large Fund – so that they can do the opposite of whatever I’m doing.
Whatever line I choose to get in is always the longest and slowest. The slot machine pays out immediately after I turn it over to someone else. Like Barney Google, my horses come in three days late.
If I decide to have a benign wart treated, it grows back in the shape of Newt Gingrich’s butt and the dermatologist tells me that it can no longer be removed.
Nevertheless, when I am feeling down, which is most of the time, I remind myself that there are people in this world who have made really, really bad decisions, even worse than any I have made.
I ask you: “What were these people thinking?”
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Now, I don’t feel so bad. I think I’ll go to the casino and bet it all on 21 red.