This chapter of Fallen Arches is based upon an idea from Rutabaga, the Mercenary Researcher, who wrote a post about search terms. It is astonishing when reviewing your site stats to see the words and phrases used as search terms.
Using only search terms from your own blog, fill in the blanks in the story below. You must use only the unaltered search terms.
I will supply the first set of fill-ins.
Our scene is set in London in the times of Victorian England. A licentious and bawdy earl returns to his home for an afternoon of entertainment with his lovely maid.
Lord Farthblank, Eighth Earl of Disturbia, strode boldly into his bed chambers where he found his young and alluring maid anxiously waiting his return. “Quickly, Maria, disrobe. I have been told of an entirely new sexual technique called__A__ and my loins ache to try it out forthwith.”
“My lord” said the maid breathlessly “what does it involve?”
“Well,” said the earl slyly “I won’t divulge all the particulars but I will tell you that it calls for riding whips, two bananas, several garters and a __B__.”
As the young maid obediently began to disrobe, she turned back towards the earl as he finished removing his trousers. The maid began to giggle uncontrollably.
“Whatever is the matter with you?” cried the earl.
“Oh” said the maid, “it is your member. It is shaped just like a __C__.”
The earl, blushing, said defiantly “It most certainly is not. If you must be so impertinent, young Maria, your breasts look like two __D__.”
“Oh, sire” exclaimed the maid. “I am most distressed and can only say to you __E__.”
A. Frankenstein rising
B. human trebuchet
D. organs that have folds
E. was man who was hit by ice cream truck while dancing in the street hurt
Now it is your turn.