“To what do you attribute this unexpected visit?”
This was the question posed to me by a clear but disembodied voice disturbing my reverie as I sat privately in my stall in the men’s room.
Well, other than it’s none of your business, nature would be my first response. And it’s not really unexpected: it happens regularly all the time. But before I could answer, I got another intriguing question.
“Is there a way that you can prolong your stay?”
Now things were getting a little strange. I wanted to point our that prolonging my stay was not in my, or other people’s, best interest. I also wanted to stress that I did not extend my bathroom breaks as excuses to finish the New York Times crossword puzzle, for example. Once again, before I could respond, the disembodied voice queried me once more.
“Is there some way that I can assist you in fulfilling your mission?”
Now we’ve gone from strange to terribly unsettling. I had never considered nature’s call as a mission much less that I need the assistance of a total stranger to complete it. Then suddenly, it all came clear:
“Okay then, we’ll convene a conference call tomorrow at 9 am sharp and look at all alternatives to keep our business with the new client.”
The man in the stall next to me was a businessman who saw no reason to interrupt his business call with a bathroom break. Ah, the modern inconvenience of the cell phone. I’m uncertain what the individual at the other end of the call thought about the background sounds during this conversation but I, for one, am not keen on mixing business calls with nature’s call.
If all of the participants followed the lead of this businessman, I can only imagine what the conference call the following morning sounded like:
[Organizer]: “Are we all on the call?”
{Sounds of stall doors closing and locking on the other end}
[Organizer]: “Okay, let’s begin. Do we have an opinion on how to handle our new client?”
{Pffffffffffffffft!!}
[Organizer]: After a pregnant pause, “Would you please clarify you statement?”
{Disgusting sound} followed by “I’d prefer not to.”
[Organizer]: ” Okay then, does anyone else have an opinion on how we treat our new client?”
{Disgusting sounds numbers 2, 3 and 4}
[Organizer]: “Uh, can we take that to a vote? All in favor of number 2?”
{Sounds of toilets flushing}
[Organizer]: “The ayes have it. Let’s all follow up with number 2. This concludes our meeting; thank you all for attending.”
{Various inaudible sounds and murmurs.}
Blogging at the Three Year Mark
I was responding to a post by nursekelly on the trials and tribulations of blogging. It piqued my interest and resulted in a post of its own. As of this January, I have now been blogging for 3 years (on and off) and I make the following observations:
It was very hard to start. I was fearful of saying something stupid or wrong and of not getting any response. Over time, I found it easier to post, although finding new topics is still difficult and seems to come in spurts. Saying stupid things comes naturally to me so I got over that quickly.
I picked a theme to find “my voice.” Being a curmudgeon-at-large wasn’t that hard. Even though there were and are others with the same idea, my innate warped sense of humor gave me focus. Can you blog successfully without a focus? Well, Jerry Seinfeld made millions of dollars with a comedy show “based on nothing,” but most of us need a focus.
Building a set of loyal followers takes time but it only takes a few who have a rather large following and an interest in your blog to increase activity. Commenting on other peoples’ blogs also helps (but does not guarantee) to increase activity on your own and, quite frankly, I need to do more of it.
I have not encountered “super bloggers” (100,000+ followers) but I have noticed several who get a very large number of likes and comments even though the actual post seem inane or lacking content. I still don’t know why this happens. I find more revealing those bloggers who write well or have a creative view, have a sizable audience (100’s or 1000’s, not 100,000), get a sizable number of comments and still have time to reply to most. These bloggers are dedicated to interaction and exchange of ideas. Personally, I would prefer to be the latter rather than the former.
I have several fellow bloggers who are writers – no surprise that many bloggers are writers – who unabashedly use their blogs to advertise their books. Not one (so far) has asked for a contribution and I believe it fair to use a blog for marketing promotion. If you like the way the blogger writes, then you will be more likely to be interested in their books.
Bloggers come and go. Some get exhausted; many run out of ideas; some have reached their primary goal (sobriety, end of a bad relationship, fear of writing, etc.). While I still read and follow many that I started with, others have, regrettably, stopped blogging. The upside is to encourage looking for new ones.
Obscenity and vulgarity – I don’t mind it and I use it occasionally for emphasis but I’m not good at it. Besides, there are already too many “fuck you”
rantsposts as it is.I try to read as many different types of blogs as possible, from the creative, inspirational and poetic to those that others might find offensive, weird or unusual. I want to stretch my aging brain, not restrict it. While I have written posts about subjects like elderporn, alien anal probing and sex with animals, I would hope that no one takes me seriously. (Sorry to disappoint you, Fido.)
So, what’s your blogging view and experience, whether newbie or veteran? Is it up, down, sideways, ever-changing or static? I await your reply with bated breath. (Does bated breath leave a taste in your mouth?)
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