fill in the blanks | Curmudgeon at Large

Using only search terms from your own blog, fill in the blanks below for this episode entitled: Gone with the [Search Term].

I will supply the first set.

All quotes are taken from Gone With the Wind. Our scene is a plantation in Georgia at the time of The Civil War. Our speakers are Scarlett O’Hara and Rhett Butler.

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Scarlett: Great balls of fire. Don’t bother me anymore, and don’t call me __A___.

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Scarlett: But you are a blockade runner.
Rhett Butler: For profit, and profit only.
Scarlett: Are you tryin’ to tell me you don’t believe in the cause?
Rhett Butler: I believe in __B__.

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Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman.
Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are __C___.

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Rhett Butler: With enough courage, you can do without __D__.

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Scarlett: Rhett! Rhett, where are you going?
Rhett Butler: I’m going back to Charleston, back where I belong.
Scarlett: Please, please take me with you!
Rhett Butler: No, I’m through with everything here.

Scarlett: Rhett, Rhett… Rhett, if you go, where shall I go? What shall I do?
Rhett Butler: Frankly, my dear, __E___.

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A. origami turkey

B. suntan on a beach

C. anal

D. a tardy little marionette

E. I am appaulled about your service

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Now it is your turn.

This chapter of Fallen Arches is based upon an idea from Rutabaga, the Mercenary Researcher, who wrote a post about search terms. It is astonishing when reviewing your site stats to see the words and phrases used as search terms.

Using only search terms from your own blog, fill in the blanks in the story below. You must use only the unaltered search terms.

I will supply the first set of fill-ins.

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Our scene is set in London in the times of Victorian England. A licentious and bawdy earl returns to his home for an afternoon of entertainment with his lovely maid.

Lord Farthblank, Eighth Earl of Disturbia, strode boldly into his bed chambers where he found his young and alluring maid anxiously waiting his return. “Quickly, Maria, disrobe. I have been told of an entirely new sexual technique called__A__ and my loins ache to try it out forthwith.”

“My lord” said the maid breathlessly “what does it involve?”

“Well,” said the earl slyly “I won’t divulge all the particulars but I will tell you that it calls for riding whips, two bananas, several garters and a __B__.”

As the young maid obediently began to disrobe, she turned back towards the earl as he finished removing his trousers. The maid began to giggle uncontrollably.

“Whatever is the matter with you?” cried the earl.

“Oh” said the maid, “it is your member. It is shaped just like a __C__.”

The earl, blushing, said defiantly “It most certainly is not. If you must be so impertinent, young Maria, your breasts look like two __D__.”

“Oh, sire” exclaimed the maid. “I am most distressed and can only say to you __E__.”

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A. Frankenstein rising

B. human trebuchet

C. clownfish

D. organs that have folds

E. was man who was hit by ice cream truck while dancing in the street hurt

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Now it is your turn.