Tag Archives: mixed metaphor

Bar Jokes for English Majors


I am once again thankful to FOAF (friend of a friend).  These are too good not to post.  They come from the bluebird of bitterness blog and the image from the story reading ape blog to which I give credit.*

Bar jokes english major


A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.


A bar was walked into by the passive voice.


An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.


Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”


A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.


Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.


A question mark walks into a bar?


A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.


Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a war. The bartender says, “Get out — we don’t serve your type.”


A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.


A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.


Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.


A synonym strolls into a tavern.


At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar — fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.


A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.


Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.


A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.


An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.


The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.


A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph.


The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.


A dyslexic walks into a bra.


A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.


An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.


A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.


A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.


A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.


*A footnote reference walks into a bar and has no cash.  The bartender gives him credit.