The internet supplies me with an endless source of warped amusement. Valentine’s Day provided an excuse to exercise it.
I saw the following picture – attached to some inane article – and instantly came up with…
Here’s a typical couple enjoying a quiet afternoon at their home.
Or are they?
This couple may be experiencing some difficulties when she thinks:
While he thinks:
So what have we learned from these possible scenarios?
- Looks are deceiving.
- Hockey is back!
- Buy low, sell high.
- Who’s Roy?
- Yet another example that, no matter what the man is thinking, he is still wrong!!
I received a notice recently of the availability of Medicare for Dummies, Second Edition.
For only $19.99, I can find out:
- When I should sign up for Medicare
- What Medicare covers
- What Medicare costs
- How Medicare works with other health benefits.
All of this information is undoubtedly useful, especially for an aging population in need of such advice. The “For Dummies” book franchise now has over 2500 titles. As stated in Wikipedia, “For Dummies is an extensive series of instructional/reference books which are intended to present non-intimidating guides for readers new to the various topics covered. The series has been a worldwide success with editions in numerous languages.”
But Medicare for Dummies just strikes a non-resonant chord. It raises the question* of what is next for a dummy like me. Besides the obvious – Retirement for Dummies, Medicaid for Dummies – there is the illogical step to:
- Walking and Chewing Gum for Dummies
- Answering the Phone for Dummies
- Monday for Dummies (part one of a seven part series)
- Poverty and Homelessness for Dummies
- Borderline Hysteria for Dummies
- Terminal Cancer for Dummies
- Death for Dummies
- How to be a Dummy for Dummies.
I should have realized that there is already a Blogging for Dummies, Facebook for Dummies and Twitter for Dummies. There is also Critical Thinking for Dummies which appears to be a contradiction in terms.
It’s only a matter of time before you can enroll in For Dummies University (FDU) where you can graduate Magna cum Stultus.
*Dr. Language Guy applauds the use of “raises the question” versus “begs the question” and refers readers to several diatribes articles on this subject.
November usually brings with it my melancholia. This year in my part of the world the weather is not cooperating and remains pleasant which, of course, makes me even grumpier. I know that the weather will eventually turn and I will start counting the days until the winter solstice. After that, the miniscule increases in daylight, throughout the winter, prepare me for the arrival of early spring.
For now, I offer:
by Thomas Hood (1789 – 1845)
No sun – no moon!
No morn – no noon –
No dawn – no dusk – no proper time of day.
No warmth, no cheerfulness, no healthful ease,
No comfortable feel in any member –
No shade, no shine, no butterflies, no bees,
No fruits, no flowers, no leaves, no birds! –
A long time ago, I got blog-tagged. I answered the 11 questions posed as part of the “blog-tag experience” but did not create a new set to pass on to 11 people.
So here’s your chance. I am listing my set of questions and letting anyone who reads this post answer as many or as few as they please. Please place your answers in the comments section.
- Time travel becomes possible. You cannot go back in time and change history but you are allowed to time-travel and live at another time in history. What era would you choose?
- a) Paper or plastic; b) aisle or window; c) boxers or briefs; d) convertible or coupe; e) rich and dull or creative, inspiring and poor?
- You have forgotten the birthday/anniversary/special occasion of someone very close and remember it only at the last possible moment. What do you do?
- If you could be someone else, who would you be?
- By entering a few personal bits of information about yourself, the death clock will tell the day on which you will die. (I entered the information about myself and discovered that I had been dead for twelve and a half years). Would you prefer to know or not know in advance the date of your death?
- What is your favorite place on earth?
- What inspires you?
- Describe yourself as a color, a fragrance, a sound, and a texture.
- Imagine that you are a writer of fiction (for those of you who are not writers of fiction). Could you write accurately about a topic that you find repugnant like rape, child molestation or animal abuse? (If you don’t find these repugnant, then go to another blog – now!)
- What would you put on a vanity plate? (If you do not own a car, then what would you put on your bike, canoe or just wear around your neck?)
- What is the hardest question for you to ask someone else?