Tag Archives: playing with a full deck

                       

I am often asked this question and clearly, I am not.

I can only think of the lyrics from The Statler Brothers’ song Flowers on the Wall:  “Playin’ solitaire till dawn with a stack of fifty one…”

http://www.last.fm/music/The+Statler+Brothers/_/Flowers+on+the+Wall

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Suppose one of your friends has made a really bad choice – see Bad Decisions – or a series of unforced errors.

When your friend commits one of these questionable actions, whether from lack of intellectual prowess, a deficit of synaptic receptors, a shortage of morning caffeine or just general dumbness, what (politically incorrect) saying do you use when referring to said friend?

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• Not playing with a full deck of cards.
• Not firing on all cylinders.
• Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
• Not the brightest bulb on the tree.
• Not the sharpest crayon in the box.
• No grain in the silo.

• The lights are on but nobody’s home.
• The wheel is spinning but the hamster’s dead.
• The train is running but the engineer is asleep at the wheel.
• The elevator works but not to the top floor.
• The engine is running but the gear is stuck in park.

• A few bricks shy of a load.
• One taco short of a combo platter.
• A few clowns short of a circus.
• A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
• A sandwich short of a picnic.
• A couple pennies short of a nickel.

• Got a screw loose.
• Doesn’t have both oars in the water.
• Has a leak in the ceiling.
• Missing a few buttons on the remote control.
• Gets mail at an unknown zip code.
• Gets orders from a different planet.
• Didn’t pay the brain bill.
• Has room temperature IQ.

• Their antenna does not pick up all the channels.
• Their receiver is off the hook.
• Their sewing machine’s out of thread.
• Their belt doesn’t go through all the loops.
• Their cord doesn’t quite reach the outlet.
• Their ladder is missing a few rungs.

…and my favorite:

• Their tray table and seat back are not in a fully upright and locked position immediately before landing and takeoff.

Any favorites of yours that I’ve missed?