A while ago, I came up with the idea of a mad-lib contest based solely upon your blog’s search terms. Little did I know where this would lead me.
I began to wonder what search terms other bloggers used to get to mine. Thanks to WordPress’ statistics on search engine words and phrases, I was able to look at my all-time list of search terms. The top five separated themselves quite cleanly from the rest. In reverse order, they are:
5. Unusual cars. I posted an article with photographs of weird and unusual cars from the early 20th century.
4. Victorian letter writing. I created an imaginary letter from a Victorian gentleman, in the fashion of Jane Austen, apologizing for a written affront.
3. Trebuchet. A trebuchet is a siege engine that was employed in the middle ages. Every curmudgeon needs one.
2. Curmudgeon at Large. Well, it’s who I am. I did write, as my very first post, a credo of my objectives.
And the winner, the top of the list, the ne plus ultra, The Donald Trump of wonders, the idol finalist, the biggest loser… Oh, you get the idea…
Drum roll please: http://instantrimshot.com/index.php?sound=drumroll
1. Sex with animals.
Yes, I know. People, this is sick. Animals, this is sick. Aliens, this is sick.
I wrote a post entitled According to Recent Studies which included a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine that stated that men who have had sex with animals were twice as likely to develop penile cancer as those who stick with their own kind. How could I have imagined that this post would generate the number one search term of my first year of blogging?
It overwhelmed anal probing, condoms for wild horses, lizard aliens, smash alarm clock and ‘we hate dumpster brokers’ among others.
What does this say about the depraved, immoral, ungodly, disgusting, perverted society in which we live that sex with animals is the number one topic on peoples’ minds?
Is this not wacko and insane?
Are we so degenerate and dissolute that intercourse with animals is our strongest interest?
Have we not already joined the inhabitants of Sodom and Gomorrah?
So, what’s your very favorite sex with animals experience?
By the way, sick – I mean sixth – place was a tie among Tropical heat, Suntan on a beach and Origami turkey.