My Big, Fat, Cheap Vacation

As a Curmudgeon-at-Large, I can’t afford expensive holiday trips.  There are no Ritz-Carlton’s or Waldorf Astoria’s in my future.  I needed to get away but I needed to economize.  I kept looking and looking and finally found one of those inexpensive, all exclusive vacation packages – courtesy of FBN Travel – that sounded too good to be true.  It was.  Only later did I find out that FBN stood for fly by night.

My first clue should have been the name of the ship on which we were booked.


This is the last time I take a cheap vacation by booking a room on a freighter!


After our rescue, we arrived at port.  I was provided with a rental car that fit my budget.  (They gave me a tarp in case of rain.)


I drove to our destination.  It was advertised as a remote, exclusive getaway off the beaten track.


I had been told that accommodations were authentically rustic.


Economy lodging certainly has its drawbacks.


The beaches were not exactly pristine.


Dining was a unique experience.


After a relaxing vacation, we looked forward to getting back.  We only needed to traverse the TSA conga line at the airport.


Yes, I know that all of this is lame but surely you can outdo me with bad vacation experiences.  I await your responses.