We have a pleasant Yorkie, a likable, lovable, spoiled little seven pound creature. An affectionate doggie who loves to cuddle and play and look cute.
She likes to spend the day nestled in your lap when, without warning, she
FARTS!
How badly does she fart, you might ask? Badly enough to knock a buzzard off an open garbage truck. Badly enough to call out an emergency hazmat team. Badly enough to make your eyes water, your nose run and your skin itch. THAT’s how badly she farts. Her farts are thermonuclear. Actually, they are more akin to a neutron bomb in that they are stealth farts. They do their damage without leaving any trace or registering on any seismic device. It is inconceivable that such a small creature can wreak such olfactory havoc.
Not only does she fart spectacularly but she has the audacity to act as though someone else had performed the dirty deed. She jumps off your lap and looks around in amazement like a little girl caught in the act of breaking mommy’s vase and pretending it was done by her bad brother. (Our doggie has no brother, bad or otherwise, so the culprit must be a squirrel or a sparrow or maybe the mailman.)
Now such vile activity in a somewhat larger animal – a Saint Bernard or an English Mastiff or a Great Dane – might be understandable, though not any more pleasant, but a seven pound Yorkie?! Pound for pound this has to be one of the most intense effusions of odor imaginable. If this odor was pleasant rather than, well, odoriferous, I could foresee bottling it as Chanel Yorkie, rather than as something best called Essence of Open Sewer Rotting Fish.
Now you might think our doggie is offended by being described as a broken septic field on four paws. Not at all. She is, this very moment, waiting to jump back in my lap, nestle down and…
I am holding my breath.
Curmudgeon at Large 
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She seems like the perfect pet for a curmudgeon. Have you ever lifted her cover to fart on her?
It would be like fighting a battleship with a dinghy.
I’m confident that you are battle ready!
Bahahaha!!! Sorry, but I find farts hilarious as long as I’m not caught in the blast nimbus.
And as for that last photo: “I looked into the abyss… and it winked.”
I have added “blast nimbus” to my favorite phrases.
We had a Silky (which is a bigger Yorkie) terrier and when we eliminated grain from her diet she became a princess of sweet. She also ran the household that included two cats, two boxers, and two humans. We miss her very much.
Our pets become a part of our lives. I cannot imagine a day without our Yorkie, noxious fumes and all.
We just adopted an eight week old Frenchie. Man alive.
Have you considered offering those ‘gases’ to your local police swat teams?
A good suggestion. The risk is capturing the gases without being asphyxiated.
Before I get an avalanche of comments on dietary changes for our doggie, let me say that she receives a well-balanced vet-recommended diet and gets as few table scraps as possible (and those are very restricted). We are all too aware of the unhealthy results of too much pork, ham and other table scraps on a dog of this small size. She also gets regular checkups and is very active and healthy.
It is my opinion that her farting is an expression of contentment since she reserves it for lap time.
Diet might be the problem. Our Yorkie, Winston, eats mostly Ol’ Roy Soft and Chewy (beef flavor, no cheese) and farts not. His disposition is much like hers. He does loose his mind on seeing strangers or squirrels however. : )
Our Yorkie also serves as a guard dog. Squirrels, mailmen and the delivery of any cardboard box are major intruders.
See my general comment on our dog’s diet.
Have you thought about changing her diet?
Changes in diet (about which we are very strict)
have indeed reduced the megatonnage but not eliminated the occurrence.