This chapter of Fallen Arches is based upon an idea from Rutabaga, the Mercenary Researcher, who wrote a post about search terms. It is astonishing when reviewing your site stats to see the words and phrases used as search terms.
Using only search terms from your own blog, fill in the blanks in the story below. You must use only the unaltered search terms.
I will supply the first set of fill-ins.
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Our scene is set in London in the times of Victorian England. A licentious and bawdy earl returns to his home for an afternoon of entertainment with his lovely maid.
Lord Farthblank, Eighth Earl of Disturbia, strode boldly into his bed chambers where he found his young and alluring maid anxiously waiting his return. “Quickly, Maria, disrobe. I have been told of an entirely new sexual technique called__A__ and my loins ache to try it out forthwith.”
“My lord” said the maid breathlessly “what does it involve?”
“Well,” said the earl slyly “I won’t divulge all the particulars but I will tell you that it calls for riding whips, two bananas, several garters and a __B__.”
As the young maid obediently began to disrobe, she turned back towards the earl as he finished removing his trousers. The maid began to giggle uncontrollably.
“Whatever is the matter with you?” cried the earl.
“Oh” said the maid, “it is your member. It is shaped just like a __C__.”
The earl, blushing, said defiantly “It most certainly is not. If you must be so impertinent, young Maria, your breasts look like two __D__.”
“Oh, sire” exclaimed the maid. “I am most distressed and can only say to you __E__.”
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A. Frankenstein rising
B. human trebuchet
C. clownfish
D. organs that have folds
E. was man who was hit by ice cream truck while dancing in the street hurt
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Now it is your turn.
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Curmudgeon at Large 
Pingback: Search Term Mad Lib « Fish Of Gold
Off topic … Just letting you know that your integrating headlines idea has caught on well today. Thanks. http://afrankangle.wordpress.com/2012/12/11/on-satire-bits-vol-39/
Thanks. It’s nice to know that I’m good for something.
You did well! 🙂
Oh, Curmudgeon, you’ve done it again! I was giggling hysterically in the office reading your ‘romance’. Here are my terms:
A. Flags of the world
B. Scottish werewolf
C. Smiley face reading
D. Haruki murakami books
E. One chance happy end
I hope the earl and the maid find their own “happy end”.
A happy end with the two of them and a Scottish werewolf? Fifty/fifty at best.
I’ll give it a shot.
A. semen meringue
B. cum injection needle
C. male nut cursher
D. what does slapcabbage mean
E. youknowofanymaledoctorswholovesgivinghandjobs
I now have a new and even better reason to dislike meringue pie.
Fabulous! I’m still laughing too hard to type…
Okay, I’m back, wiping away tears. This was so much fun I had to do it a few times:
A. where are my clothes? game
B. nfsw wrench
C. plastic orange palm tree
D. erotic food fetishes
E. i have a ridged sagittal crest on my skull
A. riding as passenger on crotch rocket
B. spandex wardrobe malfunction
C. horney turkey
D. great big turds
E. “i’m a sociopath”
A. hoer via e-mail
B. swearing beaver
C. nasty harley davidson fatboy
D. rodeo cowboys in tight jeans
E. i wet my knickers i was laughing so hard
I could go on and on…
Save them up and I’ll try it again with a new variation.
Thank you, curmudgeon. Unfortunately I have no search terms in my stats to play with as yet, but you gave me a much-needed belly laugh and accompanying rush of endorphins right before my Criminal Procedure final, which starts in five minutes.
We are over-regulated when you have to take tests before engaging in criminal procedures. Best of luck on your exam.
A. Sandwiching the Earl
B. partridge in a pear tree
C. Bela Legosi
D. Swollen nads
E, No soup for you
Sandwiching the Earl may have been Gene Chandler’s sequel to Duke of Earl.
And if not, it should have been.
A. Conservative Party Caucus
B. artificial Christmas tree
C. green-dyed goose feathers
D. toilet brushes
E. Italian Communist Party
Conservative Party Caucus in not a new sexual technique; it’s an asexual technique.
Really? I thought they were all F….d.
Good point.
I must admit that I have not ever confused breasts with sexy ankles.
A) Reeses balls
B) Turkish carpet factory
C) shipwreck Greece
D) sexy ankles
E) Ben gurion airport security strip search
This is a spectacular Mad Libs idea!
A) Goodbye my kitty
B) Disgusting hole
C) Marshmallow sandwich
D) Weebles
E) Weebles never spill the blood of christ
I will never think of marshmallow sandwiches the same way again.
haha! Here we go…
a. Baby licking Pit Bull’s face
b. A Gripping Life
c. John F. Kennedy Jr.
d. Marilyn Monroe and Sigmund Freud
e. Is Chaz Dean gay?
Whoa people are creepy sometimes, baby licking pit bulls face?!
Two breasts like Marilyn Monroe and Sigmund Freud?? Hmmm.
How I fail at this:
A) vice presidential debate 2012 flag size
B) vice presidential debate split screen
C) like a migrated bird to the winter poems
D) sadako graffiti
E) atomic bomb victims
No one fails with search terms ‘like a migrated bird to the winter poems.’
What a great idea! I loved Mad Libs as a kid.
Then I await your answers.
Oh my. What have I gotten myself into? 😉
“organs that have folds”—That may be the most interesting and asexual description of breasts I’ve ever heard…
It describes my liver and spleen in the morning.
Ouch.
Reblogged this on The Mercenary Researcher and commented:
Oh People – Go HERE – Do THIS! It’s a most excellent word Sunday ‘Mad Lib’
That’s AWESOME –
A) Teddy bear cholla attack
B) headgear brace
C) children restaurant
D) glory hole hand
E) what’s a good saw for cutting glory holes?
A good saw for cutting glory holes? “Oh, the humanity!”
Hee hee