Pet Peeves

I was asked the other day what my pet peeves were. After a few minutes, the person who asked realized the painful mistake of asking a curmudgeon for a list of pet peeves.   Now, we can name Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Bill O’Reilly and CNN but these pet peeves are individual and personal. Death and taxes are inevitable. I believe that pet peeves should be generic and universal.

Pet Peeves

Here are a few of mine. Thousands more to follow.

  1. Robo-calls and telemarketers
  2. Butt cracks
  3. People who invade your personal space when talking to you
  4. Stealth farters, especially in elevators
  5. All reality TV shows
  6. The guy who leaves the restroom smelling so bad it would knock a buzzard off a garbage truck
  7. The lady ahead of you in the checkout line who waits until all her items have been totaled before looking for her wallet (Did she think that the items would be free?)
  8. All waiters who wait until your mouth is full to ask you how your meal is
  9. Bad grammar
  10. People who found Jesus (Was Jesus ever lost?)
  11. People who come up to you and say “Smile!” (I’m a curmudgeon; smiling isn’t permitted unless the person saying “Smile!” falls into an open manhole.)
  12.  Public nose pickers and crotch scratchers (Yes, I’m guilty but at least I try to do these ugly things in private.)
  13.  Parents who abandon their uncontrolled children in stores, malls, movie theaters until you discipline the kids and the parents suddenly appear and act indignant.
  14. Drivers who take up two parking spaces
  15. The guy next to you who coughs continually on a non-stop flight from NYC to Buenos Aries
  16. The lady at the dining table next to you whose piercing shriek of a laugh would break glass (and eardrums)
  17. All commercials or ads involving the digestive system
  18. Born again anything (Please stay dead.)
  19. The phrase “Can I give you some advice?”
  20. People who make lists of pet peeves.

I know that you are itching to tell me your pet peeves so go ahead, I dare you; I double dare you; I triple dare you. (Yes, that’s another pet peeve.)


32 thoughts on “Pet Peeves

  1. Great list! On the topic of TV commercials, I would like to add “Drugs” – the side effects make you wonder why you would take them.

  2. Salespeople who say they’ll deliver in a week when they know damn well the product is at least three weeks out. And who, when called on it, just keep smiling and lying instead of flat-out saying “It’ll be three weeks.” I don’t CARE if it’s going to take three weeks; just tell me that up front so I can plan appropriately! Argh! (No, I don’t feel strongly about that at all; why do you ask?)

  3. Many of your pet peeves are my pet peeves. Another pet peeve is being the only one in my house who seems capable of replacing an empty kleenex box or hanging clean hand towels. I’m pretty sure if I wasn’t around, the hand towels in our bathrooms would be crunchy and petrified from never being changed.

  4. You covered most of my mine, but as a woman, I could toss in a few more. Men’s fantasy that socks can be worn with man-sandals; the unexpected man-sneeze that comes out as a multi-organ-shriveling yell; men (or anyone) who discover their ear holes during church..

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