We have wants and desires that are far beyond our reach – that 100 foot (30 meter) yacht, that palace on the Riviera or winning the lottery.
None of these are going to happen but we keep wishing.
Yet, we overlook the simple but wonderful pleasures of everyday life:
- The sound of gentle rain in the early morning
- Watching a sunset on a mild fall evening
- The distant sound of a train whistle from the open window of your room
- Being awakened by a gentle caress on your cheek…
… unless you happen to be in jail at the time.
I have spent too much time on Facebook rather than blogging. Here is the result.
Although I am not at death’s door, there are those moments when I can see the door from here. To prepare for the Day of Atonement, I have a few requests for my all my loved ones (family and friends).
First, don’t say “He passed.” I died. Saying “He passed” sounds like I had a bad urinary experience or an unhappy encounter with cannibals.
“Two cannibalistic ship captains passed each other in the night.”
Second, don’t say “He is in a better place.” Repeated requests to all Abrahamic religions – Judaism, Christianity, and Islam – have produced diddly squat so there is no corroboration for this assertion. You can say that I am in good company.
“You go to Heaven for the scenery and hell for the company.” –Mark Twain
I may have better luck with Buddhists because a Zen Buddhist pizza guy once said he would make me one with everything.
Third, please do not have responses say anything about resting in peace. I have no such intention. For eternity, I plan to pester, bother, aggravate and, in general, annoy anyone who ever incurred my wrath.
“Agitate, agitate, agitate.” –Frederick Douglass
If you wish to delay the inevitable arrival of death’s door at the end, you can listen to the interminable The End by The Doors:
Posted in Curmudgeonry
Tagged a better place, bad urinary experience, cannibal, cannibals, day of atonement, death's door, humor, humour, life, Mark Twain, rants, RIP, The Doors, the end, Zen Buddism
Pontius Pilate, 21st century version:
“What is truth?” said jesting Donaldus Pilate.
“’Truth isn’t truth’1 because ‘over time, truth develops’2 and results in ‘alternative facts.’3”
- Rudy Giuliani, Donald Trump’s TV lawyer
- Jay Sekulow, Donald Trump’s personal lawyer
- Kellyanne Conway, Counselor to the President