Tag Archives: news

Donorrhea

CNN Style recently posted an article entitled “What North Korea propaganda posters reveal.”

“To the outside world, North Korean propaganda posters are notorious for their militaristic and anti-American messages.  But one former Pyongyang resident is hoping that her sizable Korean poster collection can present a more nuanced picture of art in the reclusive state.  Stanford fellow Katharina Zellweger — who lived in Pyongyang for five years while working for a Swiss government agency — has collected over 100 examples from inside the country.”

These posters are on exhibit as “Korea’s Public Face: Twentieth-century Propaganda Posters from the Zellweger Collection” at The University Museum and Art Gallery (UMAG) at the University of Hong Kong until Jan. 28, 2018.

Being the kind-hearted soul I am, I thought that it would be amusing to see what nuanced themes Team Trump would construct for propaganda art in the coming year using these same posters.

Hence, Donald Trump North Korea posters become Donorrhea posters.

NKDT7

North Korea:  “Spinning tops is fun!”

Donorrhea:  “Whipping people is fun!”

 

NKDT1

North Korea:  “Agriculture is the first priority.”

Donorrhea:  “Sucking up to me is the first priority.”

 

 

NKDT4

North Korea:  “Let us provide more electricity to the battlefields where we are breaking new ground!”

Donorrhea:   “Let me use my small hands to shut down science and environmental protection before they can break new ground!”

 

NK6

North Korea:  “Let us raise more grass-eating animals.”

Donorrhea:  “Let us raise more grass-eating loyal followers. (But only white sheep.)”

 

NKDT10

North Korea: “Let us further encourage our nation’s excellent sports activities and folk games!”

Donorrhea:  “Always grab them by the ass or the p***y!”

 

NKDT9b

North Korea:  “Let us achieve the party’s agriculture revolution policy thoroughly and brighten the year with increased grain production.”

Donorrhea:  “Let us brighten the year by stomping out fake news with fire and fury!”

 

As the old Chinese proverb states:  “May you live in interesting times.”

DT5b

Cue the theme from The Twilight Zone.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-b5aW08ivHU

 

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For this election, I’ve got a little list.

With apologies to Gilbert & Sullivan.  To the tune of I’ve Got a Little List from The Mikado.  Chorus is in Bold Italics.

for-this-election1

Martyn Green as Ko-Ko, 1930s

As someday it may happen that a victim must be found, I’ve got a little list — I’ve got a little list.

Of society offenders who might well be underground, and who never would be missed — who never would be missed!

The lady whose email servers have problems of their own

Thirty-three thousand disappear like a stone.

There’s the party outsider who praises in raucous tones

Every party but his and every country but his own.

And the election outcome denialists,

They’d none of ’em be missed — they’d none of ’em be missed!

 

He’s got ’em on the list — he’s got ’em on the list;

And they’ll none of ’em be missed — they’ll none of ’em be missed.

 

Apologists, deniers, spin room activists,

Irrational supporters who get me really pissed.

All TV journalists who speaks as though listeners care

And the other ones who claim to be balanced and fair.

The dead who vote Democrat but that theory is not sound,

For you see, Mayor Giuliani, they are already underground.

WikiLeaks, tax returns, foundation donations and grants

And all those fanatics who substitute enthusiasm for facts.

And that singular anomaly, the lady plagiarist — I don’t think she’d be missed — I’m sure she’d not he missed!

 

He’s got her on the list — he’s got her on the list;

And I don’t think she’ll be missed — I’m sure she’ll not be missed!

 

There’s the pestilential congressmen who give democracy a pass.

The judicial obstructionists who are running out of gas.

And apologetic statesmen of a compromising kind,

Who defend outrageous statements by saying – “Oh, never mind.”

Third party candidates without a world view

The little, lyin’, disgusting, crooked, low-energy crew

Bad hombres, nasty women and also you-know-who

The task of filling up the blanks I’d rather leave to you.

But it really doesn’t matter whom you put upon the list,

For they’d none of ’em be missed — they’d none of ’em be missed!

 

You may put ’em on the list — you may put ’em on the list;

And they’ll none of ’em be missed — they’ll none of ’em be missed!

A Statue for The Donald

According to CNN, “Donald Trump may have just clinched the delegates necessary for the GOP nomination, but he already has his sights on a larger prize — immortality in the nation’s capital.  Trump — who made his wealth in part from the branding of his name — said he wouldn’t mind seeing his surname on a statue in Washington, D.C., one day.”

With this thought in mind, your obliging curmudgeon has prepared a statue befitting The Donald complete with a motto:

TS1

The Donald Trump: Yet Another Horse’s Ass in Washington.

New But Not Improved

Newbut1

The Curmudgeon-at-Large site is currently under construction.

C-a-L will return shortly.  (Translation = C-a-L will return when he feels like it).

Proceed at your own risk.

Not suitable for children.   (Actually, not suitable for adults either).

This site has NOT been approved by the AA, AAA, AMA, ASPCA, CDC, DMV, EPA, FTC, IOC, NBA, NFL, Nuclear Facilities Safety Regulatory Commission, Order of the Maltese Cross, PETA, PTA, Union of Concerned Scientists, Zach’s Investment Research or anyone else for that matter.

According to Recent Studies

Everything you never wanted to know.

January 2012:  Heavy boozers are imbibing more frequently according to new government data that looked, for the first time, at the detailed habits of binge drinkers.  One in six U.S. adults reported binge drinking at least once in 2010, a slight increase from the previous year, according to a Center for Disease Control report.  Seniors — those older than 65 — reported binge drinking the most often of any age group.

[Getting old has at least one advantage.]

November 2011:  In a new study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, men who have had sex with animals were twice as likely to develop penile cancer as those who stick with their own kind.

[Men, let this be a warning to you!  The next time you are visiting Scotland or New Zealand and that sheep gives you a knowing wink, turn away.]

August 2011:  The theory that hidden-from-view undergarments are the first thing men stop buying as the economy heads south has former Federal Reserve chairman Alan Greenspan among its subscribers.  Sales of men’s underwear rose 7.9% in August [2011] from a year earlier, according to research firm NPD Group.  By this measure, at least, we’re moving in the right direction.

[Presumably, if a lot of men are wearing only underwear, the economy is moving in the wrong direction.]

June 2009:  In the journal Trends in Ecology & Evolution, same-sex sexual behavior extends far beyond the well-known examples that dominate both the scientific and popular literature: for example, bonobos, dolphins, penguins, albatrosses and fruit flies.

[You know, I always suspected penguins.  But albatrosses?  Who knew?]

November 2007, Science Daily: There are promiscuous antelopes.  A new study by the Department of Biology, University of Jyva¨ skyla, Finland and the Institute of Zoology, Regent’s Park, London, UK, reveals that sexual conflict runs in reverse.  Among African topi antelopes, females are the ones who aggressively pursue their mates, while males play hard to get.

[Guys, if you are on safari, don’t get too close to the antelopes.  See the November 2011 warning.]

December 2006, ABC News:  Weeding through the value of the nation’s cash crops, a study (“Marijuana Production in the United States” by marijuana policy researcher Jon Gettman) released today states that marijuana is the U.S.’s most valuable crop.

[For some reason, I thought it was Brussel sprouts.] 

January 2006:  At a meeting of the American Astronomical Society, it was announced that a spinning black hole in the constellation Scorpius created a stable dent in the fabric of space-time.

[There is a dent in space-time?  What is space-time made of, aluminum siding?] 

The announcement explains that gravity waves are distortions in the fabric of space-time predicted by Albert Einstein’s theory of general relativity.

[Wait a minute, space-time is a fabric?  Then how does it get dents?  Maybe it’s a combination of aluminum siding and under amour.  How do you repair it if it tears? ]

March 2012:  Astronomers using the Hubble Space Telescope are mystified by a merging galaxy cluster known as Abell 520 in which concentrations of visible matter and dark matter have apparently come unglued.

[There is a definite need for a space epoxy repair kit.]