Tag Archives: Twilight Zone

What is truth?

Pontius Pilate, 21st century version:

What is truth

“What is truth?” said jesting Donaldus Pilate.

“’Truth isn’t truth’1 because ‘over time, truth develops’2 and results in ‘alternative facts.’3

  1. Rudy Giuliani, Donald Trump’s TV lawyer
  2. Jay Sekulow, Donald Trump’s personal lawyer
  3. Kellyanne Conway, Counselor to the President

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVSRm80WzZk

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Scientific Puns

One more round of puns.

You may thank (or curse) HighIQHumor for these:

Scientific

Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won Ton

1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microScope

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 Billigram

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer = 1 Lite year

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling

Half a large intestine = 1 semicolon

1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz

Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower

Shortest distance between two jokes = a straight line

2,000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbird

1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton

1,000 cc’s of wet socks = 1 Literhosen

8 nickels = 2 Paradigms

 

And, for your added pleasure:

The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar? They each got six months.

Do you think that humans will ever walk on the sun? (It would have to occur at night.)