(With a nod to idiotprufs and List of X).

So Donald Trump walks into a bar…

1. and denies he ever walked into a bar.
2. orders a drink from the bartender and tells her she would not look like a pig if she lost 20 pounds.
3. says he knows how to drink and drinks only the best drinks.
4. doesn’t want to be braggadocious but he likes his drinks bigly.
5. demands that everyone except the white guys be stopped and frisked.
6. blames Hillary Clinton for the spilled liquor and the crushed peanut shells on the floor.
7. says that his entrance into the bar was the best entrance ever. Ever, ever, ever.
8. requests that all Mexicans leave the bar and then re-enter it legally.
9. runs up a tab and says that he will pay it once the audit of the tab is complete.
10. not sure that he will pay the tab anyway because he didn’t get the service he expected.