While I am off thinking of more items to grouse and complain about, I realized that you should have something other than The Donald’s statue to contemplate.
Those of you in Canada or Mexico can choose a state comparable to your province.
The internet supplies me with an endless source of warped amusement. Valentine’s Day provided an excuse to exercise it.
I saw the following picture – attached to some inane article – and instantly came up with…
Here’s a typical couple enjoying a quiet afternoon at their home.
———-
Or are they?
———-
This couple may be experiencing some difficulties when she thinks:
… and
While he thinks:
A)
B)
C)
Or D)
———-
———-
So what have we learned from these possible scenarios?
In a rare moment of reflection and self-evaluation, I came face-to-face with a startling realization about my own biases and prejudices.
I will believe as Gospel truth anything told to me by someone who has a proper British accent or a deep baritone voice. The late Sir Richard Burton, James Earl Jones, Patrick Stewart or Dennis Haysbert could sell me swamp land, stock in the Brooklyn Bridge, a body organ or a radioactive device. They could tell me that they know where Jimmy Hoffa is buried, reveal their encounters with alien life forms or how to make gold from base metals and I would believe them. They could convince me that I was a victim of botched trans-vaginal mesh surgery or that I lived a previous life in the court of Emperor Franz Joseph of Austria-Hungary. I could listen to any of these voices as they recite the Newark, New Jersey yellow pages and be mesmerized.
I consider Abraham Lincoln as the greatest prose poet of the nineteenth century. He is reported, however, to have had a high-pitched, squeaky voice. It is better that I never heard him speaking his famous words because I would not accept them.
Imagine that you are driving along an interstate highway in the Deep South in the United States and you are involved in a terrible traffic accident. You are rushed to the emergency center of a nearby regional hospital with life threatening injuries. Which of these two doctors would you prefer to operate on you?
Doctor Number 1: (in a clipped, upper class British accent) “I am your surgeon, Dr. Hugh Lockhart-Mummery. Trust me when I say that I and my superbly capable staff shall get you through this complicated procedure with as little difficulty as possible. I must tell you that, although I trained at Harvard, Oxford, the Mayo Clinic and the American Hospital of Paris, this is my very first attempt to perform this complicated operation. Your family may rest assured, though, that you are in competent hands.”
Doctor Number 2: (in an accent like Gomer Pyle): “Well gol-lee, we sure got us a good one here. Haven’t seen a break like this since baby brother fell outta the ol’ swamp oak. I’m Dr. Joe-Bob and me and my crew will get you fixed up quicker’n your mama can unbutton her overalls. Done a couple thousand of these and ain’t had to call the morgue yet.”
Now logic would dictate that Dr. Joe-Bob, with a thousand plus operations under his belt, knows what he is doing and Dr. Lockhart-Mummery-Whatever doesn’t know squat. But are you going to tell me that you would not be reassured by that soothing voice of confidence that only comes with a proper British accent? And that you would be less than comforted by hearing the voice of a surgeon who sounds like one of the supporting characters from the Dukes of Hazzard?
Yes, we all carry our biases and prejudices with us.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, someone who sounds just like James Earl Jones is telling me I only have five minutes left to make a once-in-a-lifetime investment in property on the moon.
A long time ago, I got blog-tagged. I answered the 11 questions posed as part of the “blog-tag experience” but did not create a new set to pass on to 11 people.
So here’s your chance. I am listing my set of questions and letting anyone who reads this post answer as many or as few as they please. Please place your answers in the comments section.
Questions:
I was responding to a post by nursekelly on the trials and tribulations of blogging. It piqued my interest and resulted in a post of its own. As of this January, I have now been blogging for 3 years (on and off) and I make the following observations:
It was very hard to start. I was fearful of saying something stupid or wrong and of not getting any response. Over time, I found it easier to post, although finding new topics is still difficult and seems to come in spurts. Saying stupid things comes naturally to me so I got over that quickly.
I picked a theme to find “my voice.” Being a curmudgeon-at-large wasn’t that hard. Even though there were and are others with the same idea, my innate warped sense of humor gave me focus. Can you blog successfully without a focus? Well, Jerry Seinfeld made millions of dollars with a comedy show “based on nothing,” but most of us need a focus.
Building a set of loyal followers takes time but it only takes a few who have a rather large following and an interest in your blog to increase activity. Commenting on other peoples’ blogs also helps (but does not guarantee) to increase activity on your own and, quite frankly, I need to do more of it.
I have not encountered “super bloggers” (100,000+ followers) but I have noticed several who get a very large number of likes and comments even though the actual post seem inane or lacking content. I still don’t know why this happens. I find more revealing those bloggers who write well or have a creative view, have a sizable audience (100’s or 1000’s, not 100,000), get a sizable number of comments and still have time to reply to most. These bloggers are dedicated to interaction and exchange of ideas. Personally, I would prefer to be the latter rather than the former.
I have several fellow bloggers who are writers – no surprise that many bloggers are writers – who unabashedly use their blogs to advertise their books. Not one (so far) has asked for a contribution and I believe it fair to use a blog for marketing promotion. If you like the way the blogger writes, then you will be more likely to be interested in their books.
Bloggers come and go. Some get exhausted; many run out of ideas; some have reached their primary goal (sobriety, end of a bad relationship, fear of writing, etc.). While I still read and follow many that I started with, others have, regrettably, stopped blogging. The upside is to encourage looking for new ones.
Obscenity and vulgarity – I don’t mind it and I use it occasionally for emphasis but I’m not good at it. Besides, there are already too many “fuck you” rants posts as it is.
I try to read as many different types of blogs as possible, from the creative, inspirational and poetic to those that others might find offensive, weird or unusual. I want to stretch my aging brain, not restrict it. While I have written posts about subjects like elderporn, alien anal probing and sex with animals, I would hope that no one takes me seriously. (Sorry to disappoint you, Fido.)
So, what’s your blogging view and experience, whether newbie or veteran? Is it up, down, sideways, ever-changing or static? I await your reply with bated breath. (Does bated breath leave a taste in your mouth?)
Curmudgeon at Large 